THE LEAP

Life moves so fast that we find it hard to catch up at times. When are faced with challenges regarding our relationships, or we lose a relationship, we are scared of building new ones. We are scared not because of the uncertainty, but because we keep looking at the scars from the past. We are so stuck with the fear of the past, that it has prevented us from accepting new realities.

I have a friend who always talked about how love made her lose control of who she is, when she got heartbroken, she became scared of falling in love or accepting love. Healing is a long process and that doesn’t mean you have to do it alone. It isn’t you who is incapable of loving again, it is the fear of committing to something you are scared will fail, so why bother with the heartbreak? One thing we need to understand is, we need relationships. A friend betrayed you, don’t mean others will…so why treats others badly as a reaction to an action of one?

Instead of dwelling on the fear of the downs of relationships, why don’t you focus on the beauty of the journey? Happiness is not an end, it is the process that is fueled by faith, a leap, a seed of trust. Even if the new relationships do not work, we should be grateful for the memories. Happiness is always true and it will be an error to say ‘true happiness’.

Birds don’t just stay in their nests, even if the sky is filled with uncertainty and danger, they fly and when they fall, they rise. Life is too short for us not to pursue happiness. Being angry with our past, only makes us bitter.

STORIES WITHOUT MORALS

THE NIGHTS BY MARY OSARETIN OMOREGIE(MAJU)

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This is one of those nights, times the future appears in all its vague glory. I look into the memories of yesterday which feels too distant to be remembered as the crickets sing to the tune of the dark. It felt like my soul, I want to feel this way forever, feel the happiness that comes with innocence, I want to laugh hard without care and I want to experience love which I can trust. Growing up, I was told to dream without barriers, no one told me about the ‘buts’.

At ten, I have to leave the dollhouse and think about building my future.

At twenty, My future becomes my present and I have to start living it. Anything below their expectations is a failure.

At thirty, I become the bitter woman who spent her early years trying to keep up with the expectations.

At forty, I no longer trust opinions as I want to make the past my future.

At fifty, I become the cool aunty the younger ones are warned never to associate with as she is a bad company.

At sixty, I die, not of the disease the doctor diagnosed, but of loneliness and regrets of time I can never relive.

“Do not forgive” “ I forbid you a rebel, have you seen any of your mates doing it?”

I believe life gets complicated the more we try to please everyone and live for others without enjoying the memories.

I choose the childlike innocence,I choose not to be lonely when I’m not alone.

I stared back at the artwork on the wall with a smile on my face. I have the fortitude………..

HEART-TO-HEART WITH MAJU.

Hello Maju, My boyfriend and I have been together for a long time. I lost my virginity to him and the spark in the relationship has not been there for some months now. I went to a party last year with my friends and I met someone new, we got talking and I feel so much attracted to him, on one of my visits to his house, we had sex and now I’m pregnant. My boyfriend proposed to me last week and I don’t know what to do. I can’t pin the baby on my boyfriend and I’m scared the new guy might reject the child. Abortion is not an option for me.

SURVIVING THE HOLLOWS

I really do not know how to deal with pain or healing from hurt, after all, we are different people. I used to tell people to let out their pains through tears, screaming, with other means of venting, one thing I didn’t know is, not every pain should be treated in the same pattern. We accept some immediately and it takes a long time to accept others.
We often wonder, why do some people go back to relationships that have caused them nothing but pain mulishly.
Quietness. This is the first thing you feel. Everything turns quiet and all you can feel is the criminally-chilled bucket of water been dropped on you spiritually, that revelation that pops the balloon of your heart. You feel left alone in the world, then a screeching sound is heard next. At the stage, some come out of the shock by reacting immediately, you might not be one of those people, different strokes for different folks.
Doubt. At this stage, You begin to question the truth, “Was it a bad dream? Is it a figment of my imagination? Did the person really hurt me? Was it my fault?” It is easy to gaslight at this point, as you doubt your own sanity. You begin to give excuses as these people couldn’t have hurt me purposely, these are people you trusted. It takes time to accept it happened and acceptance is always the hardest, accepting you’ve been hurt by a loved one, is a difficult process. Things will never be the same anymore, even if twenty children can never play for twenty years, they should not be separated by betrayal, rather they should separate in their childlike behavior free of troubles.
Accepting you’ve been hurt is the biggest flex. You know longer have to blame yourself for the betrayal caused by another, you are free from the pang of self-acclaimed guilt. Purge yourself by forgiving.
After you’ve been hurt, there is a need to move on from the past and embrace the future with a positive mindset. Not everyone is there to hurt you, you need to understand people genuinely care for you without and givebacks. Gather all the support you can get, lean on others but do not be a leech. Deal with your pain in your own way, but never stay quiet forever.
Not forgiving yourself, is like finding your way out of dark well which water level keeps rising, the anxiety you feel every day, the dark circles around your eyes, the evidence of the nightly meeting of the waterworks with your pillow. While others move on, you are left with haunting memories of a past you didn’t create.

STORIES WITHOUT MORALS

Pellucid by Omoregie Mary Osaretin (Maju)

Dear Ore,

How have you been? I hope life has been treating you well? I got your letter, and I’m sorry it took this long before I could reply. I’ve been thinking long and hard on how to write back. Sometimes, I am tempted to rub vaseline on my hungry face and tell you, how perfect my life is, but who am I deceiving? I know you will see through my walls.

My marriage is in shambles, the only glue holding Kunle and I, is the children. My life is the opposite of what I hoped it would be. The other day, when he went into the bathroom, a text came in, and I discovered his second life. He has a family elsewhere! I’m five weeks pregnant, and I’ve been thinking of an abortion. Having five children is

too much to bear, especially in a loveless atmosphere. I know it is a sin, but mental health before anything else. He has turned abusive, I have turned into what I dread the

most, my mother. When mama said, you will understand when you have children, she was not lying. Motherhood will make you accept rubbish with gratitude. I have stopped working because Kunle doesn’t want me to earn more than him. Our relationship was for three years, and I was blind to the signs, I was foolish! Love fucks you over and leaves you at the mercy of life.

I regret not accepting Jude’s proposal. Jude and I have been communicating, as we connected on Facebook three months ago, he now lives in Paris, France. I thought I was doing the right thing leaving Jude. You know I met Jude, the second year of dating Kunle, he was so sweet, and we became good friends. He proposed marriage, but I was scared Ore, I was. How could I leave Kunle? Even if Kunle is not perfect, I couldn’t dump him when he has done

nothing to me, I couldn’t be the bitch who left a man broken. I wish I had done that.

Last week, Jude asked me to pay him a visit by next month in Paris as he will cover the expenses. I am scared I still love him, and if I go, there is no coming back. I can’t leave my children with Kunle, and I’m tired of this oppression and unhappiness. I’m confused, all I wish for is a fairy-tale right now.

I heard Jane has completed her Master’s, I’m happy for her o. Three degrees is a lot, such determination.

I’ve missed you, Ore. I hope to hear from you again.

With Love,

Seun.

HEART-TO-HEART WITH MAJU

Hello, it’s been a while. How have you been? Compliments of the season!

What will you deal with an insecure partner? If you’ve dealt with an insecure partner before, kindly share your story.

Thank you for reading!

Ignited Fire.

I don’t know what to feel…. anger, resentment, hopelessness or numbness? It is the day we won’t forget, the day they suppressed our voice in order to prevent a revolution which was overdue. It was a day of collective trauma as old and young, could hear the screams of a generation as they fell in the blood of their own blood, wrapped with the national flag, on the soil of their fatherland. The day we will never forget! It was a massacre! A bloody genocide!

No one knew it would turn out like that, it felt like every normal day since the protest began. Youths gathering peaceful to protest the killings of young people by the Special Anti-Robbery Squad(SARS), chants of protest as they take breaks in between to have fun like the typical happy Nigerians, free foods and drinks flowing, It felt like home to a lot of people. October 20, 2020 would have ended happily until the announcement of a 24 hour curfew by 12pm which would start from 4pm that day till the next day. Lagos as it is well known for its traffic, it would be impossible to make it home before the curfew starts, therefore some protesters decided to stay back at the Lekki Tollgate. The government later announced the curfew had the shifted to 9pm. By some minutes after 7pm, the streetlamps that lighted the Tollgate road was switched off and the electronic billboard which would have been a source of light was also switched off.. Let it be known that, the CCTV cameras around the area was removed earlier on the command of the government. The place was in total darkness, people confused before the shootings began! The people raised the national flags while singing the national anthem as a way of saying “we come in peace” but the armed officers who obviously have no regard for the nation kept shooting at the people covered with flags, or should I say, kept shooting at the nation as Nigeria bled for everything lost! The killings would have been denied but for the live Instagram video of a Nigerian disc-jockey, DJ Switch as the country and the world watch young people who just wanted to live and have a good future they no longer have to be scared of, fall to the ground… Our fallen heroes.

It took the screams of an angry nation and the international community for the President to address the nation. While we waited patiently for the national anthem to finish so as to listen to the president’s speech, faces filled with possible hope for justice for the lives lost….It was disappointing as the president refused to acknowledge those lives lost to the massacre, rather he was more concerned about the destruction of the properties of corrupt leaders and of the state! Is the life of every citizen no longer a property to be secured by the state according to the social contract theory? He made the protest sound like a child’s play he doesn’t want to ever see repeating itself. It is safe to conclude, we are left to our own fate.

The killings brought about an anarchy, a retaliation of monsters made who had become hoodlums angry with the betrayal of the people who had made them the dragons they had become. Destruction of properties, discoveries of the COVID-19 palliatives found in warehouses around the country, while the country wallowed in hunger during the lockdown months ago.

The blood of those spilled will never be in vain, the change is here and the massacre has only ignited the fire for a true change!

CARNIVAL OF BULLETS

Nigeria has always been known as the giant of Africa with remarkable achievements but what happens, when the future is been brought down by the force meant to protect?

Years ago, my uncle shared the story of police harassment as officers of the Nigerian Police Force would stop young people to check their phones, laptops and so on in guise of ‘war against yahoo-yahoo(Internet scam)’ after which they would extort them or risk getting incriminated with a capital offense if they refused to pay. I didn’t believe it was that bad until recently when I witnessed daytime kidnapping of young men by SARS, anyone who looked flashy was forced into a white van. There are several testimonies of victims which includes locking them up for days in a cell far away from home, withdrawing of money from accounts to the last kobo while leaving them stranded and so on. It is no wonder a lot of youths are currently in prisons, paying for crimes they know nothing about.

The Special Anti-Robbery Squad(SARS) was created as a special unit of the Police Force to help combat armed-robbery in the country but it seems they have neglected their jobs and picked the duties of youth profiling, extortion and killings. It is funny how deep the poverty mentality is as fashion trends, unconventional jobs and owning expensive items are now crimes. The trampling of human rights is a whole new level ranging from torture down to invasion to privacy. The robbery, raping and killings of innocent youths is heartbreaking. A squad meant to protect us from robberies now steal from us…When exactly are we not going to get tired?

For the past days in Nigeria, protests have been ongoing to fight against police brutality and the termination of SARS but the government has turned a deaf ear to the pleas of the youths rather, protesters are getting arrested, threatened through anonymous messages and texts, teargassed, shot and killed…We can say, a peaceful protest has turned into a carnival of bullets.

While we hope for a better future, We pray the Future doesn’t get killed as we wait.

DEDICATED TO THE VICTIMS OF POLICE BRUTALITY.

ENDSARS

ENDPOLICEBRUTALITY

YOUTHLIVESMATTER

SARSMUSTEND

Finding Yourself

Have you ever looked at a group of friends and imagine how people with different personalities could create something as beautiful as that? Yes! that is the beauty of friendship, the variety that spice things up.

So I had this conversation with someone concerning friendship and I’ve come to discover how toxic and competitive some friends are. I believe there is a need to re-evaluate our relationships with people especially, when we are beginning to lose our identity.

As humans, we tend to get influenced one way or the other in relation with others but it is another thing to change yourself to fit into a system. Changing yourself to fit into a system means, you were not welcomed in the first place which is so hurtful. The more we realize how good it is to be true to yourself and be surrounded by friends who support you no matter who or what you are, the more we find ourselves. You shouldn’t be in a place where you are not appreciated and you have to live under someone else’s rules…that is not love or friendship, that is torture and bullying.

Friends don’t feel threatened because of another rather, we discover more about ourselves through support while finding our feet in the world.

STORIES WITHOUT MORALS

FREEWILL AND DETERMINISM BY OMOREGIE MARY OSARETIN (MAJU)

While some are the architects of their own misfortune, others are simply victims of fate . Raimot is an older friend who came from a troubled home as her mother tried to make ends meet fruit-seller while her father was busy sleeping with everything in skirt. She wasn’t really good with studying but always aspired for more which was one of things I admired about Raimot. She attended the public school in the next community while she helped her mother after school. Her mother business boomed and we were really happy, considering she might get transferred to a private school but her mother unfortunately, didn’t believe in investing in the education of a female child. Raimot failed a class twice so her mother asked her to join the business by hawking the fruits. She started hawking fruits for her mother while saving money to train herself, I was really proud of that action but the money wasn’t enough.

Within a year, Raimot changed as she got disinterested in studying while she spent most of her time with her new boyfriend who she met through her new hawking pals. I couldn’t keep up with her anymore as we moved away to another state due to my dad’s transfer. One year later, the news of Raimot’s pregnancy reached me through a friend. Her parents got separated as her father had impregnated their landlord’s daughter, One of Raimot’s brothers bagged fourteen years behind bars for armed robbery and her mother’s business crashed. As if life wasn’t bad enough, the father of her child denied the pregnancy.

“Your baby is so beautiful. What is your name darling?” I asked Raimot’s daughter. “My name is Oyindamola” she replied in her angelic voice. I hugged the girl as my eyes swelled with tears of what could have been, if we could change fate.

“Raimot, we really have a lot to catch up with o. Let’s go to her place and we can talk better. How have you been?…….” We chatted as we walked into a future filled uncertainties.  

HEART-TO-HEART WITH MAJU.

Hello, When was that moment you realized you were losing yourself in a friendship and how did you go about it?

Dear readers, I hope you are staying safe during this period? It is for a short time, this will pass. Thank you…..Stay Safe.

LOVE-HATE: The Excuses we give.

Recently, I was telling a friend about the toxic relationship I have with my bank. No matter how bad the service is, I just can’t stop banking with them. Each time I vowed never to use the bank account anymore due to unnecessary charges, I make excuses to overlook their excesses. Yes, it is that funny and I can’t help but link the situation to real life experiences.

I understand love overlooks excesses but there is a need to draw the line when it gets toxic. There are signs and it is advisable to end such relationship when the red flags appear. There is nothing romantic in an emotionally abusive relationship. Today your partner is all loving, tomorrow the person is abusing you. Stability is needed in a relationship, it goes beyond “we understand each other in a strange way” or “We have this love-hate relationship and it has been perfect”.

Love-hate relationships are built on conditional love as the love turns sour the moment you can’t live up to your partner’s expectations. Little by little, you begin to feel you are not enough, which will trigger unnecessary jealousy, distrust and finally the unexpected…. Not only will this toxicity affect you but it will also shape your perspective about relationships, you begin to enjoy abuse and find it hard to allow yourself to be loved unconditionally.

STORIES WITHOUT MORALS

The Maniac by Omoregie Mary Osaretin (Maju).

Maniac. Monster. Devil incarnate. These were the words Baba Yakubu was described as. No one wanted to get close to him, parents warned their children to stay far away from him except they wanted the visit of the devil. Baba Yakubu was scary and lean from years of constant drinking of Ogogoro(local gin). He senses the fear in children and scares them even more while he laughs at their reactions, which obviously gives him joy as he grins. I was a victim of his bullying who lived under this fear but looking at him crossing the street to pay his daily visit to Iya Sulia the Ogogoro seller.

Iya Sulia’s store is always filled with men of different problems who were there to find solace in another man’s troubles while they laugh it down with Ogogoro and smokes. Though most were there to run away from responsibilities.

Baba Yakubu served as a soldier during the Civil war and had come home to the news of his family’s death. He had two sons with his young wife and life was good before the war started. He had married Iya Yakubu for procreation purposes. Baba Yakubu has never shared his story about the war and I sometimes wonder the amount of pain or guilt he deals with daily, maybe the look of a bad man he puts up is a way of healing.

Eyes on the cup of alcohol his friend had raised at him from across the street made his face light up as he rushed to the haven. Silence. A deafening Silence. Screams.”Baba Yakubu!” “ Don’t let the driver go.” “Hold him”. Baba Yakubu was gone in a twinkle. His pains were gone. It was the final moment of a misunderstood man but one thing I noticed was, he had a smile on his face. The first peaceful smile I had and will ever see on his face.

HEART-TO-HEART WITH MAJU

Hi Readers! How have you been? Thank you for always reading.

Question: Do you believe in love at first sight?

Send your questions to osaretinmaju@gmail.com.

Setting Boundaries.

Openness in a relationship is one thing that can get confusing and when do you know when to create the line between being secretive and keeping secrets?

We have friends who trusts us enough to keep their deepest secrets and not to share them with anyone no matter how little and this includes our partners. When you are in a relationship, it is improper to hide things from your partner as it creates distrust but it should be things that are about you only and not about third parties as it is disrespectful to talk about other people’s lives.

There are always things to talk about in a relationship like how your day went and all but never share other people’s details without their permission. Fine, there are times your friend’s problem might be worrisome and can start affecting your mood, you can talk about the situation and not the person. One thing we should know is, no matter how little the matter changes the perspective of your partner towards the person.

Someone told me, “Friends stay longer than partners do most times” and that is true. Partners come and go with the secrets of your friends you share but these friends stay. Learn to set boundaries and keep confidential information about others to yourself as they are sensitive matters that shouldn’t be at the round table.

Finally, when your partner is about to share the secrets of their friends with you, learn to say no to such discussions. Not every talk is gist as some are gossips.

STORIES WITHOUT MORALS.

Lagos Diary by Omoregie Mary Osaretin (Maju).

There are a lot of things I really want to talk about, things that make me laugh, I really want to talk about how crazy Lagos is. Each day as I move around, I can’t help but notice the rugged lifestyle of Lagos as everyone moved in it madness all in the name of hustle. Different things just didn’t fall in place but that chaos is why I love Lagos as you will always find your place in the tightness. I will always complain about the traffic and the rush but it is home, I’m always at peace each time I see the welcome to Lagos sign or the famous statue.
There is always a drama ensuing somewhere in the traffic. Today, I saw the sign board of a make-up artist whose work negated her publicity, it was funny. I could imagine her waking every morning, praying against the enemies at work against her progress not knowing the image at her shop was the enemy. Everyone acts so angry and frustrated in Lagos. When you are calm, you look foolish to alot of people as if madness is an achievement.
There are the supposedly eradicated commercial motorcycles (Okada) operating fully while dragging the road with the ever crazy Danfos(Commercial buses) or the well-dressed men screaming at each other very early in the morning in the traffic as impatient honks polluted the peace every morning brings. The bus conductors are not left out. They are basically living the kingly lifestyle as they never waste an opportunity to insult and curse every passenger’s generations due to lack of change as less as fifty naira. Though they have their seniors who are the National Union of Road Transport Workers(Agberos) who are forever standing gallantly waiting at every bus stop to extort the daily earnings of the drivers while beating up any adamant conductor or destroying a part of the vehicle as a form of payment for the dues. Traffic management officers are not left out in the cycle…these ones are as crazy as the Agberos with their eyes as watchful as a hawk ready to perch on the drivers who defaults, “Man must chop” is the slogan for their bribery but we must all survive.
The night life and party life is unmatchable. Despite the lockdown caused by the COVID19 pandemic, people still find a way to have fun and be happy. I sometimes believe, party is the only thing that keeps Lagosians safe…Eko for show will never disappoint. I really miss the times when everyone competed for the best Aso-ebi as women whose children are hungry at home will rather buy Iya Sikira Aso-ebi at a ridiculous amount than feed her children…money attracts money as the socialites will do anything to be among the one percent of the one percent.
Lagos is really crazy as everyone always has something to say in the bus, you want to learn about anything? Lagos traffic is your learning ground… You just have to be street smart to survive Lagos. To be honest, Lagos is life.

HEART-TO-HEART WITH MAJU

Hello Maju, I have two best friends and I’m in a relationship with one. Recently, my other friend confided in me about some sensitive matters and it is affecting me to such an extent that my boyfriend feels I’m no longer interested in the relationship. I know he will be hurt if he discovers our other friend have been keeping things from him as we’ve vowed to be opened no matter what. I don’t know if I should explain why I have been distracted without he guessing the person involved. I’m so confused and I don’t want to hurt the feelings of our other friend.

Ride or Die

It’s often funny how most beautiful friendships start from the weirdest conditions. You meet someone from the first time and in the long run, it develops into a great friendship. Friendship is never about how long you’ve known someone but how deep you feel connected to the person.

The meaning of friendship is subjective but we can all agree that friendship is awesome. There is a difference between an acquittance and a friend… A friend is someone who you feel comfortable with, encourages and can interpret your feelings even in silence.

It doesn’t matter how large your squad is but be sure you can be yourself around them. We often make the mistake of wanting to fit into standards at the expense of our happiness. Something I love about my friends is, we love different things but their support is solid… We find our own happiness in little things that we feel matter. When a friend starts making question your esteem as an individual, it is best to stay clear from such relationships.

Ride or die is not just a slang, it is a promise to stand by the person no matter the condition. You can’t be a friend only when you need things and we need to stop feeling entitled. When your friend is winning, be their cheerleader, when they are down be the shoulder they can lean on. It is extremely painful when you discover a friend is a foe but does that mean you will never make friends again? Learn to be positive towards new friendships, be open-minded and learn to love wholeheartedly.

It is good to forgive and forget but that doesn’t mean you will be blind to the red flags. We all have our flaws and we offend each other but the truth is, when it becomes too much to handle, it is best to take a break. We need to learn how to less controlling of our friends. I know we want the best for them and all but learn to respect their boundaries.

Friendship is a whole level of family, love, respect, happiness and trust. This post is dedicated to every squad and with contributions from FJ, Papa, Peter, Fela…thank you❤️

STORIES WITHOUT MORALS

Maju’s Diary by Omoregie Mary Osaretin (Maju)

These days I find myself laughing and smiling more than I have in the last months. The world is going through a terrible time but I’m not, It feels like I’m living in my own world. Each day, I tell myself stories and create the best imaginative ideas…it feels fulfilling.
I’m at that stage in my life where it all becomes confusing and I’ve realized that I’ve been living according to the narrative expected of me. I took a bold step and chose a path out of the blues, a path which has become one of the best decisions of my life. A path where I’m allowed to be the best, be expressive and above all to create my own story and live in line with the narrative, there is no need to bend the rules and I’m loving it! If I were given an option to choose every part of my life, this will never leave.
I’ve been opportuned to meet new people who are extremely amazing, people who have become friends and have shown me new sides I never knew existed. My friend, Flakky said “Maju, you deserve to be happy. Don’t let anyone take that away from you….” and she is right, I no longer feel like a puppet dancing to tunes to keep everyone happy rather, I make others smile with my happy mood. I miss a lot of things since I hardly have time to keep up with a social life which I sometimes feel bad for but now I feel more fulfilling, I guess that’s the package adulthood comes with but cheers to the ones we’ve got. I guess being surrounded by artists has opened my mind and given me that confidence to appreciate every single thing more.
I’ve got my own style now, I feel daring, bold, proud of myself and in the words of Nina Simone, the powerful singer…”I’m feeling gooddddd!!”

HEART-TO-HEART WITH MAJU

If you have a friend who never considers your emotions but supports you despite letting the person know how you feel about the inconsideration of your feelings, how do you deal with such feelings. Do you let them go or keep them?

LONG DISTANCE: WHEN LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH.

So I have been battling with what topic I should write on and I finally settled for this, having seen a lot of relationships crashing especially during this period when the world is at war with COVID19. The question is, has love ever been enough to create that perfect happiness we all desire?

Recently, most couples have been forced to stay apart thanks to the restriction placed on movement which has caused many relationships to fall apart when the pressure to handle the distance becomes too much. So, let me be sincere on one thing, we might claim we are always available for those we love and this has created a theory that when communication goes bad, the person doesn’t love you anymore.

Long-Distance relationship is something that requires more understanding than love. Everybody has that level at which they vibe in a relationship especially physically as some people can’t deal with a phone relationship. At this point when they are away, they find it hard to communicate as much as they used to especially when they get busy with work, projects and so on… This doesn’t mean they’ve stopped loving their partners, No they still do and this is where understanding comes in.

For someone who can’t deal with distant relationships, it is best to stay clear from such to avoid causing heartache for yourself and your partner. At the beginning, it looks like you both can deal with it but when the communication gets bad, you are left with a kind of guilt which makes you feel like you are hurting the other person and it gets harder when you can’t relate this feeling. The happiness of the other person becomes your priority and you might eventually let them go.

This issue is a reason why most relationships fail as we tend to sweep this discussion under the carpet and when we are faced with the reality of it, we panic and end up with so more heartache than we bargained for.

When someone breaks up with you especially due to distance, it is not because they no longer love you, it could because they find it really hard to deal with the pressure and believe their love is not enough to make you so happy and they conclude that letting you go is the best solution.

STORIES WITHOUT MORALS

AREA BY OMOREGIE MARY OSARETIN (MAJU)

I honked as a sign of respect, as I drove past the all too familiar street where I started my life. The familiar place where I got shaped by different tutors of life.
“Good morning Aunty Rashida” I knelt before her as she screamed happily. “Ehhh! Oluwa o, you have grown so big, the two agbalumos on your chest have developed into oranges. It was like yesterday, when you ran naked on the streets, children grow up so fast.” I smiled shyly as I asked after everyone in the house, we gossiped for a while as I stood up to leave and hugged her. I looked back and smiled at the memories of growing. Aunty Rashida is like a second mother, who rescued me from the claws of my parents fights while she took care of me until the storm calms.
It was like a commune, we were divided by blood but watched out for each other. Growing with big uncles, big aunties, grandmas, big daddies, each who gave their training and support. Aunty Monica, who taught me how to be smart with boys, Bro Ola who chased the boys from me, Bro Hakeem who forced everyone to read, Aunty Aisha who took me to mosque and gave me a religion which clashed with my family’s faith, the ones who gave me different personalities to face different situations. This was the home and will always be home to me, where I learnt my basic principles… A child born by one but taught by all. No matter where you go, no forget Area.

HEART-TO-HEART WITH MAJU

Hello Readers! How do manage communication as a critical factor in a long-distance relationship?

Announcement

The ASSOCIATION OF CREATIVE WRITERS _University of Abuja

➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
Department of the Press Club

Presents📢📢
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖

THE STELLAR AWARDS🎇🎆🎖️☄️

How It Works
▪ Interested members of the ACW-UA PRESS CLUB will submit an article on the theme, A Surge in the Cases of Domestic Violence: A Searchlight into Probable Causes and Solutions

▪ Submission will end on Friday, the 5th of June, 2020.
▪ You are to submit via a direct message to the Head of the Press Club, your name, your article and your picture.

▪ Each article must be in document format. Thereafter, publication will be made on our Facebook Page fb.me/acwuauniabujanigeria.
▪️ The article must not be more than 450 words
▪ The article with the highest votes will be declared winner by our team 🎖️

HOW to vote
▪ Contestants will share their links to friends and well wishers
▪ Voters must follow up the page fb.me/acwuauniabujanigeria and like their favorite contestants’ article and comment after reading
▪ The article with the highest likes and comments emerges as winner.

Benefits
▪ The winner takes on the title of ICON OF ACW-UA PRESS CLUB for four weeks
▪ His /Her article earns a free publishing on websites and blogs sponsored by ACW-UA Executive Council.
▪ His/Her article earns a spot in our upcoming magazine

Powered by💪🏾
🎇 The ACW-UA Press Club
🎇 CORAZON speaks
🎇 Campus Market.
🎇 Nnamdi Newton
🎇 The Exceptional Students Network
🎇 Dear Maju’s Blog.

SIGNED
MATHEW, Odinaka Joshua
Acting Head of the Press Club.

CHIBUZOR, Prince Ezeabata
President and Founder

For more information contract 09095224785

N.B: The above theme is liberal as writers can choose any topic of their choice within the context of the theme. No candidate is allowed to use the theme as a topic.

Greetings from the Press Department, Association of Creative Writers

It is with great pleasure that we announce Ikpeoha David Chukwuemeka as the winner of the Stellar Awards competition having amassed the highest number of votes and comments consistent with the rules of the competition.

Consequently, he is entitled to the following benefits:
▪️He is hereby awarded the title of Icon of ACW-UA Press Club for a duration of four weeks
▪️The article shall be published on websites and blogs sponsored by the ACW-UA Executive Council
▪️ His article shall feature on our upcoming magazine
▪️ And finally, he shall earn some amount of airtime of his choice as a tip.

The department also wishes to acknowledge Olusegun Abraham Amoo and Testimony Akinkunmi as runners-up.
We also express our gratitude to Corazon Speaks, Campus Market, Nnamdi Newton, the Exceptional Students and Dear Maju’s Blog; as our sponsors.

Till next time. Keep reading; keep learning; keep getting better.

SIGNED
MATTHEW, Joshua Odinaka
Acting Head of the Press Club
CHIBUZOR, Prince Ezeabata
President and Founder of ACW-UA

We Dream to Fly

We all dream of a perfect love story and sometimes we feel our love stories are not aligning with the standards for an ideal relationship, but what is the standard for a relationship?

We see different love stories and sometimes want to build our relationships to that perfect stage and that is where it all gets wrong. To be honest, everyone is not the same and we should not be forced to raise standards far from your partner’s strength. Love is a beautiful thing and we all want to feel it.

A lot of issues in relationships happen because partners fail to acknowledge each other’s nature and would rather communicate the issue with third parties than with their partners. We all have our love languages which we should study. For example, a person prefers chatting on the phone than calls doesn’t mean such person doesn’t love you…this is where sacrifice comes in. Love is not all that builds a relationship, understanding is important. When we say we love a person, it is not the idea of a relationship we love but the person which include the flaws of the person which have turned into perfections for you.

Though are important things we should not overlook but that doesn’t mean you should turn Nonso to Femi or Aisha to Chidera. Raising standards in a relationship sometimes makes your partner feel like they are not enough. Make sure you act with your own mind and not what the society thinks you should. Understand your own relationship, build it in your own way. Don’t let anyone shape your relationship for you as you might end hurting yourself and loosing the right person, there is no perfect partner it is love that makes us perfect. You don’t have to compromise or make decisions based on standards or create non-existent problems, you have to create your own happiness in your own little way because the happiness that feels like we are living a dream where we soar is all deserve ❤️

HEART-TO-HEART WITH MAJU

I don’t know if he loves me.

Hi Maju, My boyfriend met in a funny way and started a relationship a month after we met and we’ve been dating for almost two years. He is really sweet and everything but recently he has been busy with different things and he doesn’t have my time though he sends money, gifts and all but the time is not there. He always tells me how much he loves me through texts but we don’t talk for long and it is heartbreaking. Do you feel he is still in love with me since he hardly has my time or I should move on as I have this guy who has interest in me and I am not getting younger anymore.